What is a spinster? If you look up the term in the O.E.D. the definition is a single sentence, “An unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage.” Seems simple, but this is really a loaded definition.
What is the “usual age” for marriage? MIc.com has some great stats on marriage in the US The average age for women to get married is 26 (it’s 28 for men), but does that mean you’re a spinster if you’re 27 and single? According to another study posted on Mic, 28% of adults in the U.S. are not and never have been married compared to 15% 50 years ago. Of course, some of the people in that 28% will eventually get married, but marriage in the U.S. is on the decline every year.
I named this site Mod Spinster to be a bit cheeky. I live in NYC and in urban areas, it isn’t unusual to be a single 30 something. However, whenever I go back to the Midwest, where I grew up I’m in the minority. Single men are bachelors, but we really only use the term bachelorette to describe the party a soon to be married woman will have. There is still a stigma against the single gal so she gets referred to as spinster which most people see as a derogatory term.
Now by calling myself a spinster you may get the impression that I’m a bit of a shut-in who spends my nights alone waiting for someone to ask me out and praying that my cats don’t eat me alive. That would be a misconception. First of all, I have a bunny and no cats. 🙂 Secondly, I do date and have relationships, but that part of my life isn’t and has never been my primary focus. Never say never it could be a priority someday, but for now, I’m focused on other things. I don’t see myself having children (again never say never), but I’ve not experienced a biological clock ticking or the maternal instincts that so many of my friends who are moms have. Do I see myself getting married someday; perhaps but again this isn’t a major focus for me or something that keeps me panicky at night, decades from now when I look back at my life if marriage and kids weren’t part of it, I don’t think I’ll feel like I missed out on anything. However, if in 30 years time I feel like I haven’t accomplished what I wanted to professionally, had the amazing adventures and experiences I’ve been dreaming about, or have a tight-knit group of friends in my life you can bet I’ll feel like a failure.
This welcome post is going to be one of the few times where I’ll bring up marriage or dating. There are so many things in this world that excite me more than my relationship status. I understand that marriage and kids are a priority for a lot of people, and that’s wonderful for them. This isn’t a website that is exclusively for the single girl. I hope that this site can be a platform for anyone: single, married, woman, man, etc. The point is I want to focus on my passions, which I think are common interests for a lot of others out there. I’ll be creating and curating content that I would want to read on the topics of style, home and entertaining, adventure, wellness, and my more geeky obsessions. I hope that it is material you’ll find to be interesting, informative, and fun.